In my previous blog post, called radiation completion, I discussed the completion go radiation therapy and the surprise celebration my friends and family put on for me. Completing 25 rounds of radiation was like a full time job for me, so this accomplishment was a huge milestone. Completing each milestone in cancer treatment is important to celebrate!
Cancer is not for the weak and faint of heart. It challenges every aspect of your being. Many people say … you will find the good in this journey … or God only gives you what you can handle.
I’m still waiting to figure out what joy this cancer journey brought me, although being cancer free at this point is a welcome outcome. I can say, however, that the one thing I’ve gained from this experience is the amazing friends and fellow breast cancer warriors I have met.
Young Women with Breast Cancer Support Group
Early in my journey, I joined a young women’s support group through the UCSF Breast Cancer Center. My medical oncologist has worked hard to find support groups for young women under 40 in the midst of breast cancer treatment. The groups were formed for young women (diagnosed under 45) in breast cancer treatment who are not diagnosed as stage 4 and also treated at UCSF. There were separate group meetings for those diagnosed with stage 4. I found this to be helpful as we all had a common base of being treated within the same medical facility. Initially, the groups met virtually (due to COVID) every other week for a total of 8 sessions.
The meetings were co-facilitated by a retired oncology nurse and a psychologist who worked with cancer patients. Each meeting had a new topic we would discuss. It also gave us time to chat about new things we each may have experienced. In every meeting I felt seen, and related to each member in the group. I left the group wanting to reach through the screen and hug every warrior.
Making Lifelong Friendships
We could share challenges, side effects and milestones together and feel supported and acknowledged. No one will understand your journey until they have walked in your shoes. Our group has now transitioned into friends who send relatable memes, cancer jokes we can only share together with another warrior as our dark humor may seem intolerable to others. We also support each other, share questions, ideas, feedback and tips. We meet in-person now and chat regularly and are there for each other in whatever way is needed.
In all honesty, I was initially hesitant to join a support group, mainly because of how overwhelmed I was with my own journey. I didn’t want to become focused on the side effects and challenges others faced. When I was first diagnosed, I did join a few Facebook groups and felt like most of the posts triggered me. The posts were focused on side effects and the challenges other faced, which made me wonder if I would have that issue as well. Others would ask questions that I felt should be addressed to their oncology team rather than their Facebook friends. As social media seems to always be “watching us”, my whole feed was soon full of advertisements about breast cancer. I quickly “paused” or unjoined those groups and at that time, felt I needed to focus solely on my journey.
While it is wonderful to have a caring support group, it is also important to focus on your journey and not to become consumed by the challenges of others. This can be a tricky balance, especially with how much we rely on social media today. Remember to only do what is comfortable and tolerable for your own health.
Find the Support Group that Meets Your Needs
I highly recommend finding and trying out support groups. Find a group that fits your own individual needs, shares important resources and creates an environment of trust and respect. You may have to join a couple and try it out before you find the right one. It’s been amazing to find friends that understand what you are going through and support you. One of the amazing things I walked away with was always feeling validated and seen after each meeting. When dealing with cancer, no one will understand what you have gone through unless they too have walked in your shoes.
Thank you for continuing to follow along on my cancer treatment journey. As I have mentioned before, my blog shares my cancer treatment from the start and has not caught up to present day. For those that are new, please explore the other posts. Thanks again for all the love and support.
